A Christmas Reflection

It's early Sunday morning here, on Boxing Day -- 26 December 2004 -- and I've just spent almost three hours browsing an extraordinary gift received yesterday. I couldn't begin to estimate how many hours were devoted to it, but I have the result and it's overwhelming.

Lynne presented each of us with a CD-ROM of family photos taken over the past 37 years. Not every photo, but more than 2,000 of them, all scanned, cropped and catalogued for easy access.

Talk about a labour of love.

To be able to re-visit memories of my wife, children and grandchildren, at all of the different stages of their lives, is literally priceless, and I want to go on public record with my profound appreciation to Lynne for this precious gift. I'll treasure it for the rest of my life.

I just wrote a thank you note to Marnie, my eldest daughter, who hosted the rest of the immediate family for the day, with David and Ainsley and Nadia. As my first child, she holds a very special place in my heart, and embodies the Lord's promise of "joy in your posterity" for me. Each of my five children occupies an unique place, naturally, but my memories of Marnie are longer as a matter of course. She's been part of the family for longer than any of the kids.

Photos taken during the day will be posted in the family photo album at http://www.counselfamily.org/album in a day or two, as soon as I have them.

It's such a joy to have a family to love. It's even nicer when they're so easy to love. :)

I hope your Christmas was as happy and joy-filled as mine.

What's worse than a mindless bore?

The answer is, of course, a mindless bore with a mission! An evangelical bore!

I'd forgotten how thoroughly unpleasant these characters can be -- and how tenacious -- until this week, when I was contacted by someone wanting to challenge my beliefs. Not that this is a bad thing, per se. But when they insist on trotting out the same old, tired, utterly discredited laundry list of claims, one can be forgiven for wishing they'd at least use a little imagination, if not a little homework to discover the f-a-c-t-s.

He was a born-again, pentecostal "Christian" determined to get me to watch "The Godmakers" to save me from my folly. What irritated me was his unwillingness to listen to what I was saying to him. He had his script and he wasn't about to veer to left or right, let alone allow anyone to get a word in edgewise. I believe that word is "boorish", but it could as easily be "ignorant," "rude," "churlish" or a host of other synonyms.

What finally got his attention was me outlining the long list of errors and inaccuracies in the movie. What REALLY stopped him in his tracks was my comment that NONE of the stuff he was trying to ram down my throat (figuratively, at least) was ever designed by its creators to change MY mind. Rather, HE was living proof of its real purpose... to prevent their own followers from ever running the risk of honestly investigating what my religion actually teaches. (An open mind is anathema to the manipulators and merchants of deception who create and peddle this nonsense.)

So he switched to remote control. I guess he figured a one-way "conversation" was less threatening to his irrational, emotional position. A stream of email messages, links, exhortations, etc commenced. I replied to the first one courtesously, asking him to discontinue. After a couple of days of this deluge I simply blocked him at my mail server.

I scratch my head in wonder at how closed-minded all fanatics are. He'd have been horrified if I'd compared him to the followers of Osama Bin Laden, the IRA and other extremists, who use religion as a cloak for their political objectives, simply because there are so many unthinking, fear-filled people willing to die for their beliefs as some kind of back door to heaven, when even their own scriptures teach that the ONLY legitimate way to enter heaven is by LIVING those beliefs. (But that requires time, effort and self-discipline and -- most threatening of all -- reason, which fanatics are rarely willing to face.)

I don't care what religion you profess to follow... a fanatic is never a valid representative of any legitimate faith, including my own.

But for a person professing to be a Christian to subscribe to the same mindset and practices as those who incite hatred, intolerance, coercion, injury and death on those who don't share their bizarre views, a long, hard look at the reality of their position is needed.

Christ said "by their fruits ye shall know them". In other words, it's not what you say that counts. It's what you DO.

From the beginning, there's only one being whose hatred of mankind -- and of God, by whatever name -- has inspired hatred, intolerance, coercion, injury and death to the children of God by his followers, be they merely mindless or openly malevolent.

So it stands to reason that those who follow this being will be the ones who practise what he preaches.

That being is not Jesus Christ. It can't be. His is a gospel of peace, kindness, tolerance and love. So "Christian" fanatics -- regardless of what they convince themselves is their version of the "truth" -- can't be true followers of Christ.

The truth is simple, plain and unmistakable. The "god" that they follow is none other than the adversary of God and his children. The father of lies. The deceiver supreme. The sworn enemy of God...

Satan himself.

Joshua said it succinctly: "Choose ye this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Just be careful which lord you choose to serve.

An early Christmas

Christmas comes early for the Counsel clan.

Not because we're an impatient lot, but because it's so difficult getting everyone together on Christmas Day. Our older girls go to their husband's or boyfriends' families, some of us work, travel, etc.

So we gather at the home of my brother, Peter, and his partner, Pam, for a relaxing weekend of sitting around, chatting, eating, drinking, playing golf, walking, watching the grandchildren play together, napping, reading and generally enjoying each other's company.



Pete and Pam live on the Churchill campus of Monash University, one of Australia's largest multi-national institutions of higher learning where they both work, Peter in security and Pam teaching statistics, as well as completing her Ph.D. Education is a major export industry here, especially to Asia. Over the past decade, our universities have established campuses across Asia to reduce the cost for local students, who previously had to spend 3-7 years in Australia, away from family and friends, with all the expenses entailed. That made it difficult for Asian families who weren't wealthy to access higher education for their children.

It was also a smart move in terms of international relations.

Churchill is a university town on the southern fringe of the beautiful Latrobe Valley in central Gippsland, in the east of the state of Victoria. Behind it rise the rolling hills and rainforests of the Strzelecki Ranges.

The Latrobe Valley is where most of Victoria's electric power is generated. The world's largest brown coal deposits are open-cut mined there to fuel the massive power stations, which are supplemented by hydro-electric power from the Snowy Mountains to the far north-east of the state. (Australia has no nuclear power generation.)

Pete arranges for us all to stay in the student housing units for the weekend. The university year is over by the end of October, so we have the run of the campus facilities for the weekend, which is typically held in mid-November. I can't recall why it was so late this year.

Pete organises a spit roast with lamb, marinated in lemon juice, Greek-style, and Pam makes salads and other fresh foods for us for lunch, and to nibble on throughout the afternoon and evening. My mother usually bakes one of her legendary chocolate cream sponges, that the entire family -- and anyone else who ever gets to share them -- hangs out for the whole year.

Mid-afternoon -- after most of the adults have had a nap -- is when the presents under the Christmas tree are opened... ending the hours of anticipation and sheer torture endured by all the grandchildren.

Most of us stay overnight and invade one of the two local wards of the Church on Sunday morning, then, after a leisurely lunch, we return to our homes, well-fed, all caught up on family news and events, and generally feeling happy and relaxed.

Naomi wasn't able to join us this year because of her big break... she was the only "up-and-coming" DJ amongst a field of established and international stars at the huge annual Rave party at Kryal Castle near Ballarat, 75 miles west of Melbourne -- and over 200 miles from Churchill.

I haven't yet heard how she did, but she's a very talented girl and a popular performer at major Melbourne raves. You can see photos of her performing with her dance troupe on her personal page at http://www.counselfamily.org/naomi -- she choreographs, trains the team, designs and makes all the costumes and organises the engagements for them.

Lynne and Esther were there, and I brought Esther home with me for the next four or five days, which is always a treat (for me, anyway!). We had to return home Saturday evening because Angus was on his own and on his leash. The workmen replacing the roof were working here all day Saturday and they seem incapable of closing any gates. So Angus has to stay leashed while they're here because he's a wanderer. Apart from the risk of being hit by cars (he's hopeless on the roads), there's a $200 fine if he's picked up by the local Ranger and taken to the dog pound.

He was very pleased to see us, as always.

Yesterday I went to Church without Esther, who forgot to bring any good clothes with her (and needed a sleep-in to recover from a late night of movies we hired and watched). I had a lesson to present for my High Priests Group and choir practice to attend (I'm Ward Music Chairman, so I have to lead by example). We spent the afternoon and evening together and had a relatively early night. We enjoy each other's company, and never seem to run out of things to talk about. For a couple of Aspies lacking in social skills, we do okay. :)

Photos from the weekend are on view in the family album at:

http://www.counselfamily.org/album/41212.html

The family web site is currently undergoing a complete revamp, but most of the main sections are visible. Visit us here:

http://www.counselfamily.org

Simplicity, serenity, solitude

It's been one of those weeks where you think you have things under control and then, suddenly, it dawns on you that, while you were busy grabbing one side of the cream cake, most of the cream just spilled out the other side, out of sight, dropping all down the front of your shirt.

I no longer fret over such things. In the past two years I've added a whole new dimension to my life to replace one that I've lost. No... not lost. Supplanted. I didn't like it or want it, so I planted something else that's now blossomed and replaced what I found unacceptable, which simply withered and died of deliberate neglect. I gave it no further energy or attention and it dwindled until it was no more.

As an Aspie, solitude is nothing new to me. The difference in these past two years has been that I understand and recognise the reality of my life and condition, and accept that I'm different, in so many ways, from other people. I still feel compelled to work longer than necessary. I still find myself in the centre of disorganised jumbles. But I just take it in my stride, break my routine and fix it. If I need a nap, or a break, I take them. I stop and play with Angus, my dog, or take him for a walk. Or make my bed. Or wash the dishes or the floor. I no longer feel guilty about interrupting the important things on which I happen to be focused so intensely. I take time for myself, my family and friends.

I often quote a Brazilian proverb that I've come to appreciate for its profound wisdom:

"In the end, things work out. If they haven't worked out yet, you just haven't reached the end yet."

There are a couple of other sayings that I try to abide by these days, too. These are Japanese:

"Fix the problem, not the blame."

"There are no mistakes, only lessons to be learned."

What I've discovered is that I've gradually simplified my life to where I want it to be, without being aware of it. That simplicity has also brought with it unexpected serenity. I'm at peace. Especially, I'm at peace with myself, finally.

In less than a week I'll turn 59. My last birthday in my fifties. Amazing. When I was 20, I was convinced I would never live to see 30. A legacy, I suspect, of my tumultuous childhood, when every day seemed destined to be my last, so I tried to fit as much into it as I could. This continued into my teens and twenties, thirties and forties. I devoured life, yet found little lasting satisfaction. A bit like eating fairy floss (cotton candy). Sweet, initially, but with no lasting subtance and a bitter-sweet aftertaste.

I was driven by a need to be always working toward something, always living in the future. So I missed the present in the process. I was conscious of it happening, but felt incapable of doing anything to alter it. Like being trapped on a runaway train, watching life happening around me without being particularly connected to it, and a mounting sense of dread about how it will all end.

Not any more.

Now I do almost everything for others. I make time for people. I spend hours every day writing to friends, helping, sharing, suggesting, teaching, listening, or saying nothing... even talking with people on the phone who would have irritated me to the point of exasperation in the past. Now I'm able to put myself in their position and understand their view of the world and, sometimes, offer suggestions or views of my own -- but without the need to have them accept as I would have in the past.

I've become patient.

I'm happy with the changes that have taken place. I like the person I've become. I'm rarely stressed or frustrated and, on the very infrequent occasions when I am, I now stand still and let it flow over and past me until it no longer exists.

With this has come a willingness and ability to negotiate. I surprise myself, regularly, with my considerable skill at negotiating win-win solutions. It's even reached the point where others ask me to act for them in this way -- the exact opposite of where I was just a few short years ago, when I didn't dare attempt to negotiate for myself, because the unbearable uncertainty would often drive me to disastrously destructive behaviour, just to remove the uncertainty.

If you knew me before I moved to my present home, you've probably been pleasantly surprised by these changes (if you've had a chance to notice them). They seem to be lasting, hopefully ingrained.

I'm now at a point where I feel confident that I can undertake some other needed changes, all of which will take time -- possibly years -- to implement properly. But they'll make a huge difference, and they're worth the time and effort.

I have a feeling that 2005 could turn out to be an eventful year for me. It'll be interesting to see what transpires. It's going to involve more travelling than I've done in a long time, and meeting with many more people, including large groups. It's also going to involve much more patience, learning, teaching and negotiating. It should be a fascinating test of the changes already in evidence.

Wish me luck! :)

Weird weather

Where I live, on the south-east coast of Victoria, the southernmost tip of the Australian mainland, we get most of our weather straight off the Southern Ocean.

This is the only ocean that circles the Earth. It's the one used by all those solo round-the-world sailors and yacht races. Waves 10 storeys high are common, and it is wild almost beyond comprehension. The winds sweep straight off Antarctica, the coldest place on the planet.

So, when we get a "cool change", it tends to be a little rough.

Mind you, in summer heat waves, when the temperature soars to 110F in the shade, we welcome late afternoon or early evening cool changes. It seems to follow a 2-3 day cycle, where the heat builds and builds, along with the humidity, then, on the second or third day, late in the day, thunderstorms sweep in across the coast to cool everything down, clean out the air, and restore everything to a sense of balance and proportion again.

In recent years, surfers with a death wish have discovered that, where the Southern Ocean meets the continental shelf about 25 miles or so west of south-eastern Tasmania, they can ride the most humongously huge waves in existence. These are bone-crushing monsters more than 100 feet high and they can kill you. The water temperature is terrifyingly cold. The weather is so tempestuous that just the trip out and back can be fatal!

The southern hemisphere is so different to the northern hemisphere. Despite Antarctica being the coldest place on earth, and the Southern Ocean making North Atlantic storms seem tame by comparison, our climate is temperate. We get no ice or snow.

This is because of the single biggest difference in the two hemispheres: the northern hemisphere is mostly land mass, while the southern hemisphere is mostly ocean. Warm currents bring milder temperatures. So, in the wettest hemisphere, you'll find the world's harshest deserts -- in Australia, southern Africa and South America. Paradox and irony abound here.

In the most sparsely-populated continent (excluding Antarctica), you find the most urbanised society on earth -- ahead of Singapore and Hong Kong! 40% of Australians live in just 3 cities. And 6 of our 8 capital cities are located in the south-east quadrant. 85% of Australians live within 100 miles of the sea.

Our deadliest creatures are amongst the smallest, and the deadliest spider on earth -- the Daddy Long Legs -- has no effective means of delivering its venom.

We have a reputation for savage, deadly shark attacks on our beaches, yet, since records have been kept, more people have died from shark attacks in the USA than in Australia.

It's certainly a place of contrasts. You can see photo albums of the part of Australia where I live at my personal web site at http://www.johncounsel.com/live.

Be sure to read the article by the late Douglas Adams, of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame, titled "Australia, the Confusing Country." It's funny, but mostly true. You can read it here: http://www.johncounsel.com/john/live.html.